15 Months Later - Who would have thought?

Man.  15 months have gone by since I've touched this blog and the only reason I started to write another post is a few people have asked why I don't write anymore.  I just tell them "That's none of your damn business and I thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."  No but seriously where did the time go?  You ever remember the Mel Gibson movie "Forever Young?"  Where Mel Gibson wakes up out of an ice capsule like 75 years later and the only thing he remembers is some car accident with his girl friend?  Wow, come to think of it, that's depressing.  The last 15 months aren't depressing for us to say the least.  Here we go!

1.  The Mogwai!

You better believe it, Randi has a little Gremlin growing inside of her.  Ha ha just kidding, let's seriously pray he gets Randi's looks, my charm / personality, and my sex appeal.
Most of my friends all have kids, at least one kid, some 3 (not sure how the hell you have three kids already, Jim Beam anyone?), and I always get the same questions from them.  Lew, how do you feel that your freedom comes to an end October 11th?  Never mind the fact I'm trading in carrying my golf bag for a baby carrier strapped around my back.  Never mind the fact that I'm trading in bending down to get my golf ball out of a hole for bending down to put a blown out diaper in the garbage can.  Never mind the fact that instead of cleaning off my golf ball while on the green I'll be cleaning off crap on the walls, changing table, and probably my hair.  Never mind the fact that instead of waking up for a 6:30 am tee time, I'll be waking up to a screaming child who wants something to eat every 2 hours, and then taking a crap every two hours.  My answer is simple, I don't look at it as giving up freedom.  I'm getting a gift, I'm having the privilege of being blessed with an addition to my family.  So between the blow outs, the spit ups, the peeing on the walls, the peeing in my ear and mouth, the crying when sick, the crying when poopy, the crying when you want to be held, it's all worth it.  Not everyone has my luxury, my own personal little mini me in which we decided to name him........

DRAKE!  You know, after the male rapper.  Isn't that normal these days?  My brother named his boy Cason, why can't I name my kid Drake?  I'll have to admit, picking out the name Drake was easy, it means male Duck.  I was called Penguin when I was little, is that not a match made in heaven?  Much like Forrest Gump and Jenny? (Top 3 movie of all - time behind Teen Wolf and Back to the Future.)

2.  Tebow Time!

You can't tell me that last football season was not amazing being a Bronco fan?  So what Tim Tebow threw like Joe Kane from The Program when he was straight out of rehab.  So what Tim Tebow is the only NFL player that's a virgin, even though Tosh thinks his V-card was swiped plenty of times down in Gainesville.  It's quite possible that I sent Tebow a tube of my blood and that I tried to grab a lock of his hair when he and I were both in San Diego, sue me.  When Tebow came on TV, I was like a 12 year old girl at a One Direction concert.  Not that I know what that's all about..........
But seriously, there wasn't a better story line in the NFL last year.  A 24 year old virgin that had about as much accuracy as Dick Cheney while hunting and taking a Bronco team with a hobo for a starting quarterback (Kyle Orton), a washed up but somehow revived running back with one knee left from the 2002 National Championship (Willis Mcgahee), and a coach that defines conservative to a tee.  Seriously, John Fox has no marbles.  You could hand that guy a pair of Kings in a poker game and he'd fold quicker than a BYU defense with the thought of pocket aces out there.  Tebow took America, my heart, and every women that's a virgin with the thought of being Tebow's first you know what.  Kiss....... But with that being said, I have a new man crush.  His name is Peyton Manning and we shall see how our relationship develops this year.

3.  Cypress Point

A man dreams of three things in this life : The Utes to win a national championship, the chance that they'll make a Back to the Future 4, and the opportunity to play Cypress Point in Northern California.  I had the privilege of playing this land mark in July and it left me speechless.  Almost as speechless when I held a girl's hand for the first time, which was Randi's.......
Cypress Point is the Zack Morris of golf courses, it's the Aston Martin of golf courses.  There wasn't a better feeling of stepping on the tee box at 7:30 am, feeling the Pacific Ocean mist walking down the fairways, and hearing the ocean crashing into the shoreline as you hit your tee shot 270 to 285 down the middle of the fairway, like I do.  I'll have to admit, I never heard much of Cypress before I was invited to play it.  I was much like an 18 year old freshman going to a USC frat party thinking we were going to play Chutes and Ladders all night.  We know Trojans know how to party, no pun intended.  Walking up and down the fairways, I learned the history of that course, why it was so special, and just how lucky I was to be there.  It's like when I invite Danny Hafen or Rand Sargent to play golf with me, they should feel privileged.  I'd say the same thing about Ike but he just buys random people alcohol in our random pairings with people, even if they are junior golfers.  Just kidding, or am I?
The fact of the matter is if you have a chance to play Cypress, do anything you can.  If you have to whore yourself out you better start asking for forgiveness.  It's that worth it, trust me.

4.  My Job

As you know, I transitioned from vulcher cell phone salesmen via Verizon, to Sales Developmental Rep for Fusion-io, to now being in charge of OEM Sales Operations for Fusion-io.  Let's face it, retail is about as fun as giving yourself paper cuts between your toes and fingers.  No one likes getting home at 9:30 at night to a wife that's probably been a sleep since 8:30 (Seriously, you put Randi in bed around 9 and it's lights out for her, don't know how she does it) and you are stuck watching reruns of Cheers because nothing is on TV.  It could be worse, I could be stuck watching reruns of Seinfeld in which I'd rather give myself paper cuts between my fingers and toes.  I can't think of a worse sitcom that was aired on television.
I love my job, I love our company, and I love who I work with/for.  It's been a long time since I've been able to say that about a job.  I've been apart of a lot of good things in past companies but nothing has been as rewarding as watching our small company grow into a market leader.  Almost like watching Tim Tebow grow as a passer......... People this is my blog, you'll just have to deal with the Tebow infatuation, even though he's a Jet now.

With that being said, #1 may change in about 10 weeks depending on how much this kid is dumping on me.  Check back in 6 weeks.

Masters Picks - The Year of the Repeat?

Last year I picked 5 players that I thought would win the Masters and one of them was Phil Mickelson. We all know how that turned out, one of the best Masters tournaments of all-time. So how does the sequel go? Are we thinking Back to the Future II type sequel (Mickelson repeats)? Or are we thinking Step Up 2 - The Streets Sequel (Phil fires his first tee shot off the concession tent and then his caddy Bones knocks a 3 wood on from 260 ala Tin Cup style)? One thing is for certain is that Phil has a great chance of repeating this week, almost as certain as Lindsay Lohan dialing up another felony. What about the other guys? The Tommy Gunn's of the world, the guys that are overlooked that want their respect. So let's take a look at the top 5 guys I think have the greatest chance to win the Masters.

1. Phil Mickelson - He's the odds on favorite to win it. And why shouldn't he be? The man just won last week, shot ridiculous low rounds the final two days, and he does crazy things like carry two drivers in his bag. He's peaking at the right time. Even though it's tough to repeat, Phil is one of the guys that can do it. Besides, he's won the Masters 3 times in the last 7 years. He loves Augusta.

2. Steve Stricker - You are right, Steve Stricker isn't the flashiest golfer in the world and he's not very outspoken. I just keep thinking one of these days he will put together a great weekend and shock us all, only it won't be a shock because everyone knows how good he is. I really do think he'll be in contention this week and if he wins, it'll be one for the good guys.

3. Dustin Johnson - Think about this, Dustin Johnson could have very well won two majors last year. If he doesn't go out and Snooki the final round at the US Open last year or "ground" his club in a so called bunker at the PGA Championship, we could very well be looking at the #1 player in the world. He's got crazy distance, I mean we are talking ManBearPig distance, meaning unreal deep. The only thing with Johnson is how long before he pulls a Jalen Rose and veers off the road only to then refuse a breathalyser? Ok, we know Johnson isn't drinking and driving but he always has those head scratching shots in the final round. If he figures out how to put 4 rounds together, no one can keep up with him length wise and at Augusta that's a huge advantage.

4. Luke Donald - Although I don't condone any European winning an American tournament, I think Donald has a great chance. Just kidding, I'm actually a fan of Donald, just not around Ryder Cup time, that's the time I find myself shouting expletives at the entire continent of Europe. Luke is probably the best iron player in the world, I don't think I've ever seen him hit a bad iron shot. Kind of like I've never seen "The Situation" with his shirt on. By the way, did you guys see his roast on Comedy Central for Donal Trump? I can't think of a more awkward time watching television, he was that bad. Anyways, Donald vaulted up to #4 in the world rankings by basically dismantling everyone at the Accenture Matchplay Championships in February and has played well ever since. If he keeps the ball the fairway, he'll be lights out from any distance with his iron game.

5. Sergio Garcia - Just playing with you, put down the flask.

5. Bubba Watson - Either he's having a seizure or that's his golf swing, one thing I do know is that Bubba has a chance to win this weekend. He's one that's at the bottom of my list though. He's won this year and has actually been in contention at a few tournaments this year. Like Johnson, I question his mental game though. Nothing makes me happier than watching him snap at photographers. I'll be honest, if I was on tour, I'd be one of those guys that just rips a camera guy if he snaps a shot in my back swing. "Hey Jackass, go pound sand and take it to another hole!" Then I'd toss my ball to a little kid walking to the next hole. If Bubba can keep his emotions in check, he's got a good chance, but he's one of my shot in the dark picks.

Do the Jazz get Jimmered? Pros and Cons to drafting Jimmer

Now that BYU's basketball season is now over and Provo has officially set the record for Prozac prescribed in a weekend, the speculation can begin. Where does Jimmer Fredette stand as an NBA prospect? Honestly, the biggest question is whether the Jazz draft yet another white guy, someone that can't play defense, and can score at will but can he in the NBA? Let's go through the pros and cons of drafting Fredette.

PROS :

1. We know Jimmer can score the ball from anywhere on the court. I mean the guy pulls up 2 steps past the half court line and hits. The shot he hit against Florida from downtown made me pee down my leg. Let's be realistic though - Adam Morrison and J.J. Reddick were the same way. Last I heard Adam Morrison was starring in a porn called the Dirty Sanchez but J.J. Reddick has had somewhat of a successful career in Orlando but it took him time to adapt. I think Jimmer is a much better ball handler than Reddick but not as good a shooter. If Jimmer can develop, maintain being a good ball handler but develop as a spot up sharp shooter, then I think he can find a spot not only for the Jazz but in the NBA. The Jazz need outside shooting desperately, almost as desperate as Lindsay Lohan trying to stay relative in Hollywood.

2. Jimmer will sell seats and merchandise. We all know every BYU fan will buy a Jimmer jersey, a Jimmer curly haired wig, and every BYU fans daughter will have a shirt that says "Marry me Jimmer." Would it be bad for the Jazz? Absolutely not. Jimmer has surpassed David Archuleta as being Utah's son. How pathetic is that? That's like saying you went on a date with DJ Tanner instead of Stephanie (Note: Full House still ranks in my top 5 of sitcoms of all-time.) Jimmer could still continue to take Utah by storm, so basically the nightmare would live on.

CONS

1. I don't know how I can put this nicely. Screw it, there is no easy way to say this. Jimmer couldn't guard John Candy (RIP John). He is seriously that bad, and when I'm criticizing your defense, you know you have issues. Let's be honest - I've been known to take a few plays off defensively but I always come up with a stop when I want to. I don't know what's worse, watching Jimmer play defense or watching Kirstie Alley eat a whole cheesecake. I really noticed it in the Florida game with the OLE defense. Was he tired? Probably, but there is still no excuse for letting people by you that easily.

2. There's two things I've learned in this life - 1. The Jazz go through draft picks like The Situation goes through grenades on Jersey Shore. 2. You don't mess with Ice-T from Law and Order Special Victims Unit. Can the Jazz really afford to take Jimmer in the mid-first round? I don't know if they can. I just know that if they use their top 6 pick to draft Jimmer-I will remove my records from my Jazz fan club and join the San Antonio Spurs full-time. The sad thing is that the Jazz will probably do it, mostly because they know people will buy tickets to come see Jimmer. One thing on Jimmer's side is that he does work extremely hard - just not on the defensive end.

I still maintain a firm stance on the Jazz trading both their first round draft picks to try and get into the top 4 and take Derrick Williams from Arizona. He gives us an athletic wing that we desperately need. And no, CJ Miles is not an athletic 3, he's not an athletic anything. CJ is the type of guy on your church ball squad that comes to every game, tapes his ankles, gets there an hour before game time to warm up, and shoots the ball every time he touches it. Geeze, Ike Tingey is the white CJ Miles.

If the Jazz can't get into the top 4 than I think they should target Kemba Walker with their mid-round pick. He reminds me a lot of Ben Gordon before he got lost in the nightmare we know as the Detroit Pistons. Walker can score - gives us more athleticism - and his game will translate better at the next level. I would rather see Kemba Walker over Jimmer Fredette. Please BYU fans, before you come cut the brakes on my car, let it be known that I wouldn't hate the Jimmer draft pick. As long as it's not their early draft pick. Please let out a deep breath now, it's ok, I know it's hard to hear people criticize the great Jimmer Fredette.

Top 10 NCAA Football Poll - Contenders & Pretenders

Time is flying by, we are through week 7 of the college football season. Let's be honest, it's going by too fast. Treasure this time, because come Spring when the NBA is winding down then all you'll see is baseball highlights on Sportscenter. That right there will force you to start mixing alcoholic drinks. The top 25 poll came out this morning and we've seen Oregon move into the #1 spot in the country and Auburn making it's way up the polls as well. So let's take a deeper look into the top 10 this week and decipher who is a contender and pretender.

1. Oregon Ducks - Contender

I love my Utah Utes through and through, but if Utah isn't considered for the national championship(which they won't be) than this is the team I want to win it all. Let's face it, Oregon has been blowing people out and they've made it look easy. Sporting the best uniforms in the country and having rid themselves of the off the field issues that remind us of the Utah State Prison, Chip Kelly has his boys flying around. Everybody talks about LeMichael James but Darren Thomas might be the best kept secret in the country. Nobody talks about Thomas because James steals the show. Kind of like on Friends where everybody talks about Jennifer Aniston but Courtney Cox is clearly the more attractive women and deserves at least half the credit. All Thomas has done is throw for more than 1,500 yards with 17 TD's and 5 INT's. Why is no one talking about him? You better start talking about him because the Ducks are for real.

2. Boise State Broncos - Contender

This will be the toughest paragraph I will have to write in my entire life besides maybe my living will. People that know me know that I can't stand Boise St but I do give credit where credit is due. Now with that being said, Oregon State & Virginia Tech are respectable opponents but we've yet to see Boise State face a real test. Kellen Moore is probably the most complete quarterback in the country and his offense shows no weaknesses. I'm curious to see how Boise State matches up with an opponent that has speed on both sides of the ball. There isn't a team in the country Boise St couldn't play with but should they be considered for the national championship? Probably not, but if they were to go, they'd definitely compete. On completing this paragraph, I've successfully tasted alcohol, who knew Jack and Coke was so good.

3. Auburn - Contender

Someone tell me where the hell Cam Newton came from? Oh wait, he was recruited by Urban Meyer at Florida but didn't play because of some guy named Tim Tebow. Urban Meyer might be the best recruiter we've ever seen. Cam Newton is now the #1 front runner for the Heisman Trophy and he deserves every accolade he gets this year. I watched him single handily win games against LSU and Arkansas. I promise you he's that good. He reminds me of when I was in 4th grade and we had to play against the 6th graders in football at recess. This 6th grader would just mow over people, except me of course. I assure you I bet my lunch card at recess that the kid couldn't mow me over, and I assure you I doubled up on my chocolate milks every day. Auburn is having it's best season since 2004 when they were screwed out of the national championship. And it's all thanks to one Mr. Cam Newton. I'm smelling the Ducks vs the Tigers in the national title game as long as Newton stays healthy or some crazy Alabama fan doesn't Tonya Harding him.

4. TCU - Pretender

Watching TCU this year, I haven't been all that impressed with Andy Dalton. Jordan Wynn from Utah is beating him in passing efficiency and is on track to be Mountain West Conference Offensive player of the year. I'll tell you who does scare me is Ed Wesley and Jeremy Kerley. Kerley is the best kick returner in the country besides Shaky Smithson and Wesley is the best back nobody has ever heard of. Gary Patterson though knows how to get the most out of his teams every single year, one of the most underrated coaches in the country. TCU unfortunately showed it's true colors against Boise State last year in the Fiesta Bowl and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I've got them losing to Utah on November 6th but know they can play with anyone in the country.

5. Michigan State - Pretender

What a story out of East Lansing. Their coach has a heart attack after beating Notre Dame on a fake field goal and then keeps his team rolling through the Big Ten. The only problem is the Big Ten just isn't that good this year. Ohio State wasn't who we thought they were (cue Dennis Green) and Wisconsin I'm still not sold on. If there is one team on this list that I'd love to see have a Cinderella season, it would be Michigan State. Let's be honest, they've been pretty lucky this year. A fake punt to beat Northwestern and a fake field goal to beat Notre Dame. They need more production out of Kirk Cousins and not rely on the running game so much. Let's just be happy that there is one Michigan program that does things the right way. You hear that Rich Rod? Ya, I went there.

6. Alabama - Contender

Remember when Alabama lost to South Carolina? Well here they come and they aren't slowing down anytime soon. They are a contender up until they play Auburn and then I think Cam Newton takes care of them. Whoever wins the Alabama vs Auburn game will be playing in the national championship. Mark Ingram is healthy and he's running like Rand Sargent towards an Apple product, which in terms means like a bad out of hell. And of course there is Nick Saban, who even though is an a-hole, is one of the best coaches in the country (Note: Kylie Minogue just came on my playlist - I've missed her.) Alabama will always bring two things to the table when you play them : 1. One hell of a running game. 2. A defense that will pop you in the mouth. Don't be surprised if they are in the SEC title game or national title game.

7. Missouri - Pretender

I was surprised Missouri beat Oklahoma last night but I'm still not sold on them. Oklahoma did not look like a top 5 team last night and most of that credit deserves to be given to Missouri. If Missouri goes into Nebraska and beats the Huskers than you can mark them down as contenders. Right now, I have Nebraska beating them but not by much. Blaine Gabbertz is a stud and their defense might be more underrated than Clubber Lang in Rocky 3. I'd like to see Missouri attack down field more, they have the athletes to do it, and they have the quarterback to do it. They still have tough tests left with Nebraska and Oklahoma State on the slate. If they win those than you can book them a trip to the Fiesta Bowl.

8. Utah - Pretender (for now)

Utah can't possibly be good right? Hell they haven't played anyone, the best test they had was at Viewmont High. So no good correct? WRONG! Utah is good and here is a few reasons why. They are ffffffaaaaaaasssssssssstttttttt and this is probably the best offense they've had since 2004 if not better than 2004. QB Jordan Wynn has another year under his belt and knows the offense in and out. Their defense was supposed to be bad this year and rebuilding but they've just managed to be in the top 10 in total defense. Their kick returner Shaky Smithson is the best in the country when he's not fumbling the ball around like a drunk at a party fumbling his 40. Kyle Whittingham loves the fact that nobody is talking about his team, he likes sneaking up on people. We will find out how good Utah is when they travel to Air Force and when TCU visits Salt Lake City on November 6th.

9. Wisconsin - Pretender

Solid wins against Ohio State and a great win on the road against Iowa but to me they don't have the horses yet. Scott Tolzien is a great quarterback but he isn't a quarterback that will go out and win you games. If Wisconsin can't run the football they are in serious trouble. Without the running game there is not play action and without play action you have a one dimensional football team. Their only loss came on the road against Michigan State and it doesn't seem they really have any tough tests left this season. Mark my words, if they go to the Rose Bowl this year, they will get blown out, I assure you.

10. Ohio State - Pretender

Ohio State was exposed badly against Wisconsin but then all of a sudden come out against Purdue and just punched them in the mouth. The jury is still out on Terrell Pryor, is he accurate enough to be a great quarterback? We know he can run the ball like crazy but has yet to show he can be an efficient pocket passer. Question marks on the defense have to be a concern, they were absolutely shredded by Wisconsin's running game. One thing we do know is that Senator and Coach Jim Tressel always has teams that rebound and find themselves in a BCS bowl. I wouldn't be surprised to see Ohio State playing in the Rose Bowl or Fiesta Bowl.

Rebuilding or Reloading? Utah Jazz Preview and Predictions

Didn’t it just seem like we were watching the Utah Jazz being swept by the Los Angeles Lakers in May? Time flies but here we are the start of a new basketball season. So what are we looking at this year? No Carlos Boozer (thank heavens), no Kyle Korver (shouldn’t have let the best shooter in the league walk), and no Wesley Matthews (love the guy, but not for 32 million over 4 years). So with the new additions we have next year and with the roster set as of today, let’s take a look at the starting five and bench this year.

STARTING FIVE

PG – Deron Williams – Is there any debate about who’s starting at point guard? This was a no brainer like Ivan Drago beating Apollo Creed in Rocky IV. Deron Williams has solidified himself as the best point guard in the NBA. There isn’t a point guard in the league that can guard Williams one on one and Kobe Bryant gave it a shot in the playoffs with Phil Jackson removing him quickly. It’s finally his team, he’s the oil that makes the engine go, he’s the chocolate that goes on the sundae, and he’s worth every penny we are paying him.

SG – Raja Bell – He replaces the toughness at the shooting guard position we had last year with Wesley Matthews. Bell is a physical defender and he doesn’t back down from any player in the league. Kobe elbowed him a few years back and two plays later Bell Lawrence Taylor’d him when Bryant drove to the hoop. Not only does Bell replace the toughness, but he replaces the 3-point shooting we lost with Kyle Korver going to the Chicago Bulls. I cringed when I saw Korver had signed with the Bulls, but when Bell signed, I went to the stats on shooting. Bell for his career is a 37% 3-point shooter to Kyle Korver’s 40%. If Bell can stay healthy, which he wasn’t all of last year, than the Jazz will be in great shape at the shooting guard position.

SF – Andrei Kirilenko – If the 2003-04 Andrei Kirilenko surfaces this year than the Jazz could be scary good. Ever since the Jazz gave AK the 86 million dollar max deal back in 2004 he disappeared quicker than John Daly’s waistline. Kirilenko was an all-star that year, recorded a few 5x5 stat lines, and didn’t look like the lead singer from Def Leppard like he does now. As the best help side defender on this team, we need Kirilenko to return to his 2004 form. Swapping him and Paul Millsap between the SF and PF will be huge with Mehmet Okur still nursing his achilles injury.

PF – Paul Millsap – When Mehmet Okur comes back from injury, Millsap will head back to the bench, but for now he’s starting at the PF. Millsap is incredibly undersized and the Jazz have him listed at 6’8”. We both know that he’s not that tall and I will go out on a limb to say he’s only 6’6”. With that being said, Millsap is the best rebounder on this team, both offensively and defensively. Even though being undersized, he finds ways to score and defend. I do worry that Millsap may have taken it personal that the Jazz went out and got Al Jefferson to eventually start at the PF position. I do love the idea of them playing together since they are both physical players.

C – Al Jefferson – I will tell you this right now, Al Jefferson’s days of flying under the radar are officially over. I will also tell you that I firmly believe that Al Jefferson is a better power forward than Carlos Boozer. Let’s take a look at the last three seasons for each player, remember Al Jefferson is coming off an ACL injury from 2008.

Al Jefferson - 20.4 PPG – 11.0 RPG – 1.86 TO – 1.56 BPG - 50% FG%

Carlos Boozer – 18.9 PPG – 10.6 RPG – 2.45 TO – 0.4 BPG – 53% FG%

Let me remind you that Al Jefferson put up those stats on a team that never won more than 20 games the past three seasons. You tell me if we will miss a beat? There is a reason my friends and I gave Boozer the nickname “swinging door.” Anytime Fabricio Oberto has a double double on your starting power forward that is supposedly an all-star it’s time to cut the rope. You read it here first; Al Jefferson will have a monster year. No more kicking it out to d-leaguers for three pointers.

BENCH

CJ Miles – People will tell you that I am not the biggest CJ Miles fan and I’ve ranked him in the top 5 of my least favorite Jazz players of all-time. I loved when the Oklahoma City Thunder signed him to an offer sheet and cried harder when the Jazz resigned him. I hadn’t cried that hard since Saved by the Bell went off the air. With that being said, this has to be the year that CJ Miles breaks out. No more log jams at the SG position. CJ will be the first man off the bench to replace Raja Bell and he needs to prove he belongs there. There is no question that CJ has the talent, the athleticism, and the stroke. He’s just never had the smarts, and that’s because he’s still young. I just read that he’s only 23 and it feels like he’s been here since I was sporting girbaud jeans and a bowl cut. No, that wasn’t just last year either but I do miss the bowl cut. Bottom line, its CJ’s time to shine and I hope he proves me wrong.

Gordon Hayward – Please tell me that you think Gordon Hayward looks like the kid off the front of Mad Magazine? Google it and tell me, I can’t stop laughing. I saw Hayward play at Butler last year and in the NCAA tournament. He was easily one of the top players in the country last year. I’ve heard numerous reports that the reason the Jazz let Korver walk was to give more time to Hayward. I’m concerned about his strength and durability for an 82 game NBA season. I was extremely impressed with his versatility and handling the rock. If the kid can shoot better than the 29% he shot from the college three point line than he could be a real steal for the Jazz.

Jeremy Evans – Where do the Jazz keep finding these 2^nd round picks? Jeremy Evans is freak of nature and quite possibly could be the biggest surprise of the 2010 draft. He can defend, jump out of the gym, and rebound the basketball. The only problem is that he weighs about as much as my 10 year old nephew. He had a put back dunk in a summer league game that almost made me execute a bowel movement, it was that good. I get that same feeling after I eat at Tepanyakis. Evans could be a huge spark off the bench for us, someone that could come in and give us shot blocking when Kirilenko needs a blow. With Hayward and Evans selected, I’ve been quite pleased with the progress of both the rookies.

Kyrylo Fesenko - Besides Al Jefferson, this is the other the Jazz man that has me interested this year. He dropped 20 pounds in the offseason, he’s developed a nice little jump hook from five to eight feet, and he’s got himself a real haircut. Plus the Jazz are paying a 7’1” 280 pound walrus practically peanuts. Guys his size don’t fall in your lap unless they are Greg Ostertag (Yes that sound you heard was a dry heave.) Fesenko could turn into a valuable asset for the Jazz if he contributes in two areas, clogging up the middle while blocking shots and rebound the basketball. Sure he’ll give you the occasional garbage points but I assure you that Fesenko will make a good living with the Jazz doing those two chores. We’ll need him come playoff time against guys like Tim Duncan, Yao Ming (if he recovers from his hang nail,) Pau Gasol (the human camel,) and Andrew Bynum.

Ronnie Price – I was happy to see the Jazz keep Ronnie Price along with Earl Watson. Price won’t give you much offensively but he plays defense like a little grasshopper. If you don’t know what I’m talking about than you may want to e-mail Luke Walton and ask him about it. Price will be the third point guard on this team behind Williams and Earl Watson but could find himself as the backup if Watson ever goes down.

Earl Watson – Watson has always been a solid player but he’s never really jumped off the page. I’ve watched him with multiple teams over the years and he always seems to adapt well to whatever system he plays in. I like him as the backup to Deron Williams. He brings stability, toughness, and the ability to run the offense. At times last year watching Price run the offense was like watching an M Night Shyamalan movie, you didn’t know what the hell was going on. Ok that was below the belt but you get my point. We haven’t had a solid backup point guard since, well, Howard Eisley I guess. Boy that was tough to type that.

Francisco Elson – I’m going to be honest, I haven’t seen much of Elson, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Then again, he played for the San Antonio Spurs and Denver Nuggets who are both stacked at the center position. Something the Jazz have never been stacked at unless you count Felton Spencer with Antoine Carr. Feel free to stop yourself from drinking the Pledge under your sink after reading that last line because they no longer play for us. For once I’m confident in the ability of our front line due to the fact that we have multiple seven footers. Even though he’ll probably be used in spot minutes, Elson could turn out to be quite a find for us.

Mehmet Okur – I feel bad for Okur and it’s due to the fact that for the last six years he had been our most durable player. When I saw him go down against the Nuggets I looked right at my wife and said “he just ruptured his Achilles,” and I was spot on. I was thinking he should be back by February but now I am hearing that he could be back as quick as December. The Jazz shouldn’t rush him back and I think we all know they won’t do that. We need Okur healthy for the end of the season and in the playoffs. He gives us another seven footer to throw at opposing post players and he stretches the floor opening up the low post for Al Jefferson to punish people. Okur will be a huge part of the Jazz this year and if he can return to the old form before his injury than our front line will be one of the best in the NBA.

Predictions

Utah Jazz – 52 -30 – 3^rd in the West and Northwest Division champions. I’m not sold on the Oklahoma City Thunder quite yet. The division title will run back through Salt Lake City.

Foukas NFL All Decade Team 2000-2010

You know what I didn't realize? That it's 2010, a decade is past, it seems like only yesterday I was watching Charley Steiner's Sportscenter Y2K Commercial. Probably a top ten commercial of all-time. Time flies and we see new players come and go in the NFL. Taking a look back, I put together my all-decade team from 2000-2010. John Elway may be on this list even though he retired in 1999.

1. Tom Brady - QB New England Patriots

Is there really a discussion? Besides his ridiculous chin, Brady gets the nod as the top player on my decade team. 3 Super Bowl wins, 5 Pro Bowls, 2 Super Bowl MVP's, and not to mention he's tapping super model Gisele. That right there should get you the nod. Here is the reason why I have Brady listed #1. Besides Randy Moss' arrival in 2007, Brady never had a great group of receivers. Every receiver that's left New England has never amounted to anything else. Brady made them good and the fact he's never had a dominate running game. Brady is that good, he's a winner, and will go down in history as one of the best all-time.

2. Peyton Manning - QB Indianapolis Colts

Probably the smartest quarterback to play the game of football and definitely one of the hardest ones to look at. Tell me this, can you ever remember a quarterback being his own offensive coordinator? You know he just gets the play from the sideline, under his breath says F$%^ this, and changes the play. Why do you think he screams all the time at the line of scrimmage? Regardless, I've never seen a quarterback be so unstoppable. Every route he knows off the top of his head, he knows where the protection goes, and his timing is impossible to duplicate. That and he hasn't missed a game since I was a fetus. If he stays this healthy, he could probably play until he's 45.

3. Ray Lewis - MLB Baltimore Ravens

Have you ever seen a defensive player change the outcome of a game more than Ray Lewis? Lewis gets a bad rap because he shanked some guy down in Louisiana but the man knows how to find the football. Probably the best middle linebacker to ever play the game, even better than Dick Butkis. He's the most intense football player I've ever watched play the game. He doesn't back down from anyone and he never is afraid to exchange words with any player on the field. I guarantee you if Lewis hadn't been mixed up in that whole deal down South, more people would be on board with him being the best defensive player of all-time.

4. LaDanian Tomlinson RB San Diego Chargers

As much as this pains for me to write this because I'm an avid Denver Broncos fan, I watched his cat run up and down the field on the Broncos. The funny thing about LT was that he was incredibly fast but he also finished runs by lowering the shoulder. I hate the fact that he started the visor trend, except for the d-bag Phillip Rivers that wore one in college. Did I mention I can't stand Phillip Rivers? Anyways, no one could impact a game on offense like LT. He ran it, he caught it, and basically carried the Chargers organization for years. I feel bad that he was under the curse in San Diego for not winning a ring. I hope he wins one with the N.Y. Jets.

5. Jonathan Ogden - LT Baltimore Ravens

Anytime you are elected to the pro bowl 11 times you must be doing something right. Probably the best offensive lineman to ever play the game of football. You never realize how important left tackles are until you watch the move "The Blindside." By the way, thank you to that movie for making me relive the Joe Theisman leg collapsing like a lawn chair scene at the first. I could have done without that. Ogden was part of that Super Bowl team in 2001 that was won by the defensive because they had no offense. Anytime Trent Dilfer is your starting quarterback you may as well pull a guy out of a dumpster to play quarterback. Sorry, we got off topic, Ogden kept his quarterbacks clean and he made way for running backs. Just ask Jamal Lewis who had an amber alert issued for him when Ogden retired, his productivity dropped quicker than Bill Clinton's pants in the oval office.

6. Champ Bailey - CB Denver Broncos

Easily the best shutdown corner we've ever seen. Bailey has recorded 7 straight Pro Bowls and has been reliable every year he's been in the league. One of the only good moves Mike Shanahan made was trading drag queen Clinton Portis to Washington for Champ Bailey. To be honest, the trade worked out well for both teams, but I've always been a huge Bailey fan. The pick he had on the goal line in the 2005 AFC Championship game was one of the best plays I've ever seen. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n74qajrx4b4&feature=related

7. Ed Reed - FS Baltimore Ravens

A safety that covers so much field and has the hands of a wide receiver is just flat out scary. I'd be willing to bet that quarterbacks that look across the line of scrimmage and see Reed have urinated on themselves. Reed is scary good, and like teammate Ray Lewis, changes the game unlike any player I've seen playing safety. I can count on one hand on how many picks he's taken to the house and punts he's returned for touchdowns. Anytime this guy touches the ball you better watch out. I would definitely say he's a top 3 safety of all-time. He gives Ronnie Lott a run for his money.

8. Tony Gonzalez - TE Atlanta Falcons

Like LT, this guy terrorized my Broncos for years. Easily the best tight end to play the game of football. I read a stat where he hasn't missed a game in 10 years. For a tight end? That's ridiculous. The guy weighs close to 250 lbs and just runs over people. And not to mention he has the hands of a wide receiver. He's another guy I want to see win a ring even though the a-hole single handily kept me awake after running down the middle of the field on Denver.

9. Troy Polamalu - SS Pittsburgh Steelers

Is there anyone else that means more to their team than Troy Polamalu? Besides Kyle Orton? Just kidding, but seriously this guy means more on his team than anyone in the NFL. You saw the Steelers last year after they lost Polamalu, they folded like Barack Obama in 2011's Democratic race. It's a give, Obama is done, and thank the Lord for that. Not only does this guy punish running backs coming up the middle, he also punished wide receivers for coming across the middle. Also the most important part, his hair is insured for a cool million dollars. This guy will keep terrorizing people for the next 10 years.

10. Randy Moss - WR New England Patriots

This kills me to put this guy here because he quit on the last organization he played for in the Oakland Raiders. Ok check that, I'd probably quit on them too, what an awful franchise. Moss has freakish ability. Hops, speed, hands, and the ability to fake moon people at the Lambeau Field. The guy hasn't put it altogether yet though. It's too bad he hasn't because the guy could have been one of the greatest receivers of all-time. Let's hope he turns things around and stays with the Pats, he won't play with another great receiver like Tom Brady, he better realize what he's got.

Top 5 TV Characters I'd Love to Hang Out With

Generally this is supposed to be a sports blog, but I need to be like Chelsea Handler's night time alcoholic drink and mix it up. I couldn't sleep last night and so I thought of an immediate blog topic that I could start in the morning, what TV characters would I like to hang out with. I think we can all agree that we have our own individual lists of characters. And then there is probably people who claim "Well I don't watch TV," and to them I say well then you're not American. Before you start down this list Rand Sargent and Ike Tingey, you will not find Kramer, George, or Seinfeld on this list, I actually dislike Seinfeld, and I have been very clear with you on that since day 1 of our friendship. I actually I take it back, I don't dislike Seinfeld, I just don't find it hilariously funny like 30 of my other friends do, I can only take Kramer's bed hair so much in an episode. With that being said, on to the list.

#5 - Olivia Benson & Elliot Stabler - Law and Order SVU

My wife and I starting watching this show right after we tied the night and I must say it's absolutely wonderful. There's nothing like watching Elliot Stabler put his forearm into some sex offender's throat (something I'm sure we'd all like to do one day) and telling them the next time he sees them that they'll be hooked up to a lethal injection needle. No kidding around, the guy doesn't bluff, and neither do I. Stabler and Benson are perfect compliments to each other, Stabler is the muscle, and Benson is there to keep Stabler on the train track but she has a tendency to get feisty herself. You go on a ride along with these two and you are guaranteed to see : a) a crime scene in which I've always wanted to investigate, b)Elliot toss some dirt bag down the stairs and spit in his face, c) you get to hang around New York all day, what better three things to ask for? All in the life of a special victims unit officer.

#4 - Lauren Conrad & others - The Hills

Now obviously this isn't a TV character but she is in a TV reality show, so it counts, if you have a problem with it well then I have a four letter word I can tell you to go to. Another show my wife introduced me to when I started dating her and one that I have tried to watch every week. Here is Lauren's day : Wake up, go to school, go to lunch at some ridiculous restaurant (by the way I'm baffled by how many people spell ridiculous rediculous,) and go get hammered at the end of the night and make $50,000 an episode. I'll take that for $300 Alex, except the part of getting hammered, who knows how us Foukas' would handle our liquor. Here's the thing, Lauren is probably the most loyal friend out of anyone on The Hills, but she is also probably the most dramatic. I couldn't hang out with Spencer because he belongs in Arkham Asylum. I couldn't hang out with Heidi because if you hug her you would get a concussion (use your imagination), and if she tripped and fell she would be like the T-1000 in Terminator 2 and just shatter. Lauren honestly seems the most normal out of all of them. I remember Hilary Felsted laughing at me in our Communication Theory class when I told her I watched The Hills, well Hilary it's one of the most watched shows in the world, who is laughing now? On a quick note, really Brody Jenner? You got rid of Kristin for Avril Lavigne? I mean make it interesting and date Hayley Williams from Paramore but Avril Lavigne? Gag me.

#3 - Babysit for Stewie Griffin - Family Guy

There's no denying it, Stewie is the funniest character on Family Guy. I love how Family Guy portrays him as some evil baby yet when The Children of Jolly Farm come on TV he can't be pulled away. Stewie has done everything from getting sauced to deal with his problems, juicing it after he got beat up by a baby girl, and hung out with the cast of Star Trek. Wait, I've dealt with friends like that already minus hanging out with the cast of Star Trek. I've yet to find anyone that's hung out with Whoopi Goldberg or Will Wheaton, kind of a bummer. But anyways, you can't dispute Stewie's humor, at times it can be a little much but for the most part you always pee yourself with laughter. My wife will always say "When Family Guy is on, you will always watch it!" My only reply to her is that I'm wheezing because I'm laughing so hard. That and I haven't taken care of myself since my senior year of high school. I always enjoy getting texts from Dave Tibbs and Ike Tingey about a specific episode of Family Guy where Stewie does something crazy and we all laugh about it. One thing is for sure, all of us would love to hang out with the great Stewie Griffin

#2 - Dwight K. Schrute - The Office

Three reasons why I would hang out with Dwight. 1.) He drives a 1987 Pontiac Trans Am. 2.) He listens to Motley Crue anytime he is going into a sales call (if you don't know who Motley Crue is than I'm going to have to ask you to stop reading this blog.) 3.) He's gullible to believe the stupidest things in the world. For instance, we know that he's 99.9% sure that the guy Jim hired for Phyllis' party is not the real Ben Franklin. The fact that he believes Gaydar is a real product sold the deal for me. I used to think Steve Carrell made The Office funny but now I firmly believe that Rainn Wilson makes that show go. Carrell is good but there is only so much awkwardness I can take in a season. I think my favorite Dwight scene is when he finds out Michael grilled his foot in his George Foreman grill, flies out of the parking lot and tags a telephone pole, gets out of his car and pukes on the back of it. I don't think I have laughed so hard in my life except when I saw Brody Van Brocklin dance for the first time. If you have seen the movie Pinocchio than you know exactly what I'm talking about. This choice was easy, in the words of Michael to Dwight, Keep it simple stupid.

#1 - Dr. Sheldon Cooper & Howard Wolowitz - The Big Bang Theory

Justin Denney introduced me to this show about two months ago and I haven't been able to stop watching it. I just finished season three and stoked about this upcoming season. If I had to pick between these two to be number one I would definitely go with Sheldon. He makes the show go, without him there is now Big Bang Theory. Howard is the perverted Jewish guy desperate for a girlfriend while Sheldon is the exact opposite, and he uses the word koydos for the word sex. Never have heard of it but it may become my favorite word. Besides, Sheldon shares my same love for vintage video games, he owns every gaming system known to man. How can you not love the way Howard dresses in this sitcom? The Nintendo belt buckle I will find one day, and I will sport it on the golf course. If you haven't watched The Big Bang Theory, I suggest you do it, you will become addicted, and it'll be a good addicition. Unlike Tiger Woods' addiction that cost him his marriage and golf game. See that, I made another joke, Bazinga!

I encourage you to post your favorite quotes or scenes from any of the characters above if you'd like. Enjoy