In the Summer of 2004 I was working at Living Scriptures in Ogden, probably the most awful place in the history of mankind. Ike "The Slinky" Tingey was my co-worker, he walked into our break room and said "Lew, the Jazz just signed Carlos Boozer!" After I had stopped drinking the Pledge under the break room sink to try and poison myself, I couldn't help but get excited. We finally had a legitimate power forward since Karl Malone had retired. It's now 2010, the Jazz have just finished getting slapped around like a red headed step child, swept by the Lakers. Now this topic isn't all about Carlos Boozer being the only problem for the Jazz getting their ass handed to them but he is the main problem. Below is a list of reasons why Carlos Boozer must be allowed to walk away from this franchise and I think you'll find all of the reasons reasonable to let him walk.
Drama - Carlos is like a 16 year old girl. He's like the girl in high school that will come up to you by your lockers and say "Boy, do I feel like excrement today." And of course the girl expects the guy to ask "Well what's wrong?" Last year when Boozer, while sitting out with injuries from a hang nail to a big zit on his scalp, comes out and says "I'm opting out." The season is in December, why on God's green earth would you tell an ESPN columnist that you are opting out of your contract after the Jazz had just won a game coming from behind? He needs all the attention, he needs to be the guy, he wants to be the leader. The only problem is that he doesn't want to work for anything, he wants to be deemed the guy because he's an NBA player. I can't tell for sure but I don't think Deron Williams is a huge fan of Booze. Every year drama surrounds Boozer. He missed half the season in his first year. He misses 3/4 of the year his second year due to injuries. His third season he was actually cleaner than Paris Hilton, which isn't saying much. His fourth year he disappeared in playoff games quicker than a bottle of Vodka at a Lindsay Lohan dinner table. His fifth year he was going through marital problems with CeCe because she didn't want to live in Utah and include his opting out statement. This year it was trade speculation, he blabbed his mouth all over the media that he wanted to be traded to Miami or Chicago, yet the start of the season rolls around and he's still here. Kind of like when you tell your friends that your staying home for the night and then they catch you with a chick at a movie leading to some uncomfortable silence between everyone. That's how the locker room had to have been this year.
6'8" 265 but plays 6'4" 125 - I don't think I've seen a bigger man be a bigger sissy in my entire life. Kind of like the muscle heads you see at the gym, they check themselves out in the mirror by flexing their trap muscles but if someone gets in their face they tuck their hoo hoo in between their legs. Bryan Elder and I were watching the game tonight and not once did we see Carlos take it to the chest of Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum. Everything was a wrap around, a fadeaway, or the infamous drive to the basket, scream, and shout an expletive at the ref. I never saw Karl Malone do that, Reggie Miller agreed with me. I don't know why Boozer is so scared of contact. The man is built like a Peterbilt diesel but plays like a Geo Prism. If I had Boozer's body, I would first quit waxing my armpit hair as my wife somehow notices those things. But I would be taking the ball to the rack, dunking on people, sticking my butt in their face while hanging on the rim, and then tell the player I just dunked on I'm coming after their family. Boozer could be so good if he had any type of work ethic. If he spent the Summer with Karl Malone on his ranch, learned how to be a man, he would be an all-star every year. Now he would also probably come back talking in third person like Karl Malone. Until Boozer finally gets his man card back, he just another 6'8" power forward that doesn't like to use his power.
Luxury Tax - The Luxury tax next year will be around 58 to 60 million dollars. So we have AK on the books for 17, Memo for 9, Paul Millsap for 7, CJ Miles (he should be playing for Doritos) for 3.7, D Will for 14 million and add in the rest, we are hovering around the 54 to 55 million dollar mark. Enough to sign John Crotty for the veterans minimum. The Jazz can't afford Boozer unless they want to go into luxury tax again. And there is only 5 players I'd pay the luxury tax for: 1. Dwight Howard 2. Lebron James 3. Dwayne Wade 4. Chris Bosh 5. Kobe Bryant and just to be honest 6. Manu Ginobili (Ya, I went there. I can dream, I'd wear a bandage on my nose to every game at Energy Solutions arena, and I'd probably move next door to him. Deal with it, I like Ginobili.) So unless Boozer wants to play for 6 million a year next year, than let's talk. But to be honest, even if Boozer said "Hey Jazz fans, I'll play for 1 million next year!" I still don't think I'd take him. Thanks but no thanks Booze, but we can't afford you. Shucks.
Paul Millsap - We matched Paul Millsap's offer from the Portland Trailblazers for a reason right? I mean, we are paying Paul 32 million over 4 years, which at first I did not like. I can't dislike the guy though, he plays extremely hard. Do I think he's the answer at the power forward position right now? No, but the kid is still raw, why not give him a full season to be deemed the starter and see what numbers he can put up.
Time to start over - Boozer isn't the only one that needs to be replaced but I think it's time to start shopping AK. It's too hard to shop Okur because of his injury in the playoffs. That's like trying to sell a salvaged title car. "Ya the car is in great condition, except for the garbage truck that dumped feces all over the interior." I wrote in my last blog topic that the Jazz should trade AK and the New York Knicks 1st round pick to Houston for Yao Ming. Even if they laugh in our face at least you made the offer. The front office can't sit on their hands and wait for Okur to finally play defense, Millsap to grow another 3 inches, and Deron Williams to stop dying his hair black. But seriously D-Will, what's with the artist formerly known as Prince hair color? They need to rejuvenate this franchise, much like they did in 2004 with signing Boozer and Okur, except this time bring in defense.
It's an end to another disappointing seasons, and it ended with us being taken out back to the woodshed by the Lakers. I wrote in a previous topic that the Jazz were like Buster Douglas and the Nuggets were like Mike Tyson and we knocked out Tyson. Well this series was like the movie Bloodsport. Where that massive Asian Chun Li just lights up Jean Claude Van Damme's American biker friend. That's what it felt like, getting our head stomped in. In one of the most anticipated off-season's in the history of the Jazz, I'm willing to bet the Jazz make a stupid offer to Boozer, he signs, and we have to keep drinking the flat Boozer. Maybe Orlando has room on their bandwagon, if so, all aboard€!
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