My Top 5 Picks to Win The Masters

This could be my favorite week anytime of they year. Check that, anytime the week leading up to a golf major makes me one of the happiest men on earth. Except of course when I sit down for a meal at Tepanyaki's but that's not the point of this topic. Master's week has a special meaning this week, it's the return of the chosen one, Eldrick "Tiger" Woods. After a 5 month absent from taking a savage beating with a nike 3-Iron and crashing his black on black Escadlade into a tree, Tiger makes his return. I'm not going to lie, I'm cheering for Tiger, I hope Tiger rebuilds his life, and I hope he gets his family back. I'm not sure if I like Tiger to win this week. However, Tiger had a 144 day layoff before coming back to win the 2008 U.S. Open over fan favorite poolman Rocco Mediate (Watching Tiger's 18th hole putt to send it into a playoff still gives me chills.) The following players below are my favorites to win it this week and I will tell you why.

5. Phil Mickelson
Phil The Thrill finished his 2009 season with winning the Tour Championship and the HSBC Championship. A devestating year for Mickelson who's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer along with his mother as well. Mickelson hooked up with long time putting phenom Dick Stockton to work on his putting stroke that propelled him to two victories late in the season. Starting 2010, Mickelson has sturggled, he's sturggled to find that putting storke. The problem with Mickelson is that he takes way too many chances. Phil is like a date that you get denied at the doorstep but you think it's going great. You think the girl is into you, she laughs at your jokes, she touches your arm, and then at the doorstep you get the dreaded hug and you say to yourself "WTF?" (Let it be noted I've never experienced that.) Phil plays his round well and then boom the last 2 holes come around and he denies you with bogeying or doubling the final holes. Here's why I like him: 1. He's the best in the world with a wedge and around the greens. 2. He's long off the tee. 3. He's won at Augusta twice. Although I'd say I'd be surprised if Phil won, I'd also wouldn't be surprised to see him miss the cut.

4. Jim Furyk
Furyk is one of my favorite golfers on tour besides Mickelson. I like him because he's a perfectionist. Even when he hits bad shots in his practice rounds, he'll stand in that same spot and still visualize what happened in his swing. Furyk ended almost a two year drought when he won the Transitions Championship a few weeks back. Furyk doesn't crush the ball off the tee, and he doesn't wow you with iron play but he's consistent. He doesn't make mistakes often, he plays the course and not anyone else. Furyk usually plays well in majors, obviously he knows how to win since he won the 2003 U.S. Open at Olympia Fields in Illinois. The reasons I like Furyk are as follows: 1. He's extremely consistent. 2. If he putts well, he will shoot low scores. 3. He doesn't shoot himself in the foot with stupid shots, he'll always play smart. The only thing that concern's me with Furyk is his distance. Augusta will play long, and will hold an advantage for players longer off the tee.

3. Ernie Els
Easy Sleezy Ernie is officially back. Back to back wins on tour for the first time since I was a fetus. If you are teaching a young golfer the perfect swing, go ahead and buy Ernie Els' dvd's, he has one of the best swings on tour. Els has the luxury of winning majors, but he hasn't won any since the 90's. Regardless, he still knows how to close out victories at majors. Something about Ernie though tells me that he could struggle this week. Not many golfers have won three tournaments all year, let alone three in a row. With that being said here is why I like him : 1. He's the hottest golfer on tour (I just thought to myself, that Hansel is so hot right now - Zoolander.) 2. He, like Mickelson, has the length to shoot low scores at Augusta. 3. He finally found his putter again, and did I mention that he's won the last two tournaments he has started? I will say I will be shocked if Ernie wins his third tournament in a row, but if he does, couldn't happen to a better guy.

2. John Daly - - Just Kidding, That would be my dream. Steve Stricker
Stricker reminds me of the nerdy guy at the grocery store that should be bagging for you. The damn guy knows how to play golf though, he had the best stretch of his career in 2009 that vaulted him up to the world ranking #2. He hasn't played the best starting 2010 but that just means he's due to make a run at the title. He almost seems boring to watch because he doesn't show emotion and he plays to his strength. Why can't he be like John Daly and tee off of a tall boy every once in awhile? Stricker reminds me a lot of Furyk, very consistent, stays with in himself, and from 10- 15 feet is just almost automatic putting wise. Stricker will have a legitmate chance to win the Masters if he : 1. Plays within himself and tries not to hit shots out of his league. 2. If he's putting well, watch the hell out. 3. If he gives an occasional fist pump or actually smiles, and of course from if he's on from tee to fairway, he'd be a solid choice.

1. Tiger Woods
Well here we are. 5 months removed from the biggest sex scandal since Bill Clinton was having midnight passion with Monica Lewisnksy in the oval office. Probably the most work a Democrat has ever done in that office (que the drums and symbol.) Tiger has a great chance of winning the Masters because well he's Tiger Woods. The best golfer of any generation makes his anticipated return to Augusta. Right now you can hear some golfers like Luke Donald and Paul Casey urinating on themselves. I don't need to go into detail on why I think Tiger will win The Masters other than the fact he's just happy to be out on the course. The media will be a big distraction. "Hey Tiger, how many women did you sleep with?" Who the hell cares, that's in the past, and it's time to tee it up. I may not agree with how Tiger was living his personal life but deep down I'm hoping he wins The Masters. I can't imagine the public humility the man has gone through, and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. Now hold on ladies, before you throw a brick through my back window of my 1997 Civic LX with a note attached saying "IT'S HIS OWN DAMN FAULT YOU(EXPLETIVE)." It is Tiger fault's for putting himself in that situation, that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for him. The best golfer in the world is back, the game of golf can now get back to normal, and it would be normal if Tiger Woods wins The Masters.

Please subject hate mail regarding my support for Tiger Woods to EatMe@hotmail.com