NBA Playoff Previews - LET'S GET IT ON (Mills Lane)

"It's the most wonderful time of the year, ding dong, ding dong." The NBA playoffs are here my friends and I can't remember being more excited for April (Of course Phil winning the Masters made me want to mother his children.) This time of year brings out the best of the best in the NBA, nothing made me more happy than watching LeBron storm off the court last year like a 4 year old girl in a candy shop when the Orlando Magic ended the Cavaliers season last year. So, with the playoff seedings in place as of last night, thank you Utah Jazz for reminding me how you guys fold like Joe Theisman's leg from a Lawrence Taylor hit, we can now look at the first round match ups. (Note that right now if I had music on the blog, the old NBA on NBC theme song would be blaring on my computer speakers)
WESTERN CONFERENCE BRACKET

#1 Los Angeles Lakers vs #8 Oklahoma City Thunder

And the fuel has already been added to the fire with Phil Jackson's recent comments about Kevin Durant getting the beneficial calls from the refs. Talk about hypocrisy, Phil Jackson coaches Kobe Bryant who probably gets more calls than any player in the league. That's like me stealing a TV from Best Buy, getting away with it, and then seeing somebody steal a TV from Best Buy and say "Hey that d-bag is stealing a TV! That's a freaking crime!" Jackson just needs to sit his busted hips down in his cushion chair and chill. Now, with that being said, I'm looking forward to this matchup. The Kevin Durant vs Ron Artest matchup will be a barn burner. I do think Durant will light him up like a Christmas Tree but I'm always down for a Ron Artest moment where he vaults into the stands and starts breaking beer bottles over people's heads. In the end, I think the Lakers will be too much for the Thunder, but Kevin Durant will elevate himself into the Lebron, Wade, Kobe category of players in the league. The Lakers win in 5.

#2 Dallas Mavericks vs #7 San Antonio Spurs

My sleeper upset in the first round (Que the morons that will text me saying you are such a homer Foukas, just because it's the Spurs. Two words : Shut UP)
Here is the reason why I think the Spurs could give the Mavericks a run for their money. Experience, the Spurs have won 3 championships with their core group (Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili), they know how to win games on the road. They have gotten exceedingly better since the first of the year and with Richard Jefferson starting to find his form, it could be deadly. Finally, Manu Ginobili has been on a tear since the all-star break. He's averaging over 23.5 ppg and is the healthiest he's been in three years. However, I do think the Mavericks will win this series but no without a fight. Tim Duncan is dragging his leg and i don't think he can guard Dirk. The Mavericks win in 7 games and I try alcohol for the first time.

#3 Phoenix Suns vs #6 Portland Trailblazers

The Suns may be one of the hottest teams in the league and Portland is now holding open tryouts while pulling guys out of dumpsters to come play since they are decimated by injuries. The latest is Brandon Roy who tore his knee up in the Sunday matchup with the Lakers but vows he will try and play. If I'm the Blazers, I tell him you aren't playing. You aren't winning the championship this year and you are the franchise player, we aren't questioning your toughness Brandon but your IQ we are questioning. Phoenix should have an easy time with Portland with the fact that Portland hasn't had their regular starting lineup since I was rocking the bowl cut in 5th grade. Steve Nash will run circles around Andre Miller and Amare Stoudemire should just punish LaMarcus Aldridge. I would have a different opinion if Brandon Roy was playing and healthy but as of now, the Trailblazers just don't have the horses. The Suns win in 5

#4 Denver Nuggets vs #5 Utah Jazz

Since the Utah Jazz laid an egg in last night's blowout loss to the Suns, they now find themselves backing their way into the playoffs. I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in a team that showed zero heart last night. Utah is such a hard team to figure out. It seems like when they want to beat a good team they can but when New Jersey rolls into town they could very well lose to them. They are kind of like Jennifer Aniston, she'll tap a guy like Brad Pitt and then she'll turn around and tap a guy like Vince Vaughn who's just hideous. Anyways, the Jazz better hope Andrei Kirilenko gets healthy because he may be the only one who can guard Carmelo Anthony. The Nuggets seem to have the Jazz's number this year. Hell, they beat the Jazz with Billups and Anthony sitting on the bench. The Jazz would be legitimate contenders if they had a guy like Chris "Birdman" Anderson, someone patrolling the middle instead of Mushy Man Okur. In the end, the Jazz's defense will break down quicker than a Toyota Camry on the freeway and the Nuggets will put them away.
The Nuggets win in 6.

EASTERN CONFERENCE BRACKET

#1 Cleveland Cavaliers vs #8 Chicago Bulls

Do I really need to write that Chicago has no chance of beating the Cavs? Steven Hawking has a better chance of walking than the Bulls beating the Cavs. (OK I immediately feel bad for writing that.) It's remarkable that Chicago made it into the playoffs, and it's all because of the young legs of Derrick Rose. Rose has been spectacular this year and is going to continue to get better. Unfortunately there's a 265 lb freight train playing for the Cavs named LeBron James. Cleveland wins this one handily, and it won't be close. Cleveland wins in 4

#2 Orlando Magic vs #7 Charlotte Bobcats

The young Bobcats come storming into the playoffs for the first time in their franchise's history. One problem, they get the defending Eastern Conference champs in the Magic. Don't get me wrong, there is talent on the Bobcats. Gerald Wallace may be the best kept secret in the NBA, and Stephen Jackson is capable of putting up bigger numbers than his own breathalyzer test. Orlando has to much firepower and just a freak down low named Dwight Howard. I'm not sold on the Vince Carter trade for Orlando though, I think Hedo Turkoglu was a big part of Orlando's offense. Have I mentioned how much I love Matt Barnes? (Note : If I were to get all inked up like a rockstar, I'd take a picture of Matt Barnes and give it to the tattoo artist) Barnes gives Orlando another defender to throw at LeBron and Kobe because let's face it, it will come down to Orlando and Cleveland in the conference finals. My X Factor for Orlando, Rashard Lewis. Lewis needs to play big for Orlando to make a trip back to the finals, if he's playing well, watch out. Orlando wins in 5

#3 Atlanta Hawks vs #6 Milwaukee Bucks

I feel bad for the Bucks, they were on a roll until Andrew Bogut slipped off the rim and turned his arm into a gordita. (If you haven't seen Bogut's slip off the rim, it's enough to make you throw up your last meal.) Brandon Jennings has been quite the surprise for Milwaukee, let's be honest, I didn't know what to expect from him. With Bogut playing, I'd say they have a puncher's chance, but with Bogut out, no dice. Atlanta has flown under the radar all year, and Joe Johnson has had an incredible year. Josh Smith should have a big series against the smaller Bucks and they don't have an answer for Johnson. Atlanta wins this one quickly and moves on to a showdown with the Orlando Magic. Atlanta wins this in 4 games.

#4 Boston Celtics vs #5 Miami Heat

Boy have I been disappointed by the Boston Celtics this year. Maybe it's me but they just seem to lose a step. Or six steps. Kevin Garnett looks old, Paul Pierce is playing banged up, and Ray Allen just hasn't played as well this year. With that being said, they are still dangerous. They only won the title two years ago, and if they catch fire, they could make a run deep. Miami hit a stretch where they were won of the best teams in the East, the only problem is they don't have a lot of talent surrounding Dwayne Wade. I'm a big Wade fan, but he just doesn't have a ton of support. When you are kicking the ball out to Udonis Haslem and Mario Chalmers for jumpers, you may as well book that trip to Cancun. If anyone can carry a team through the playoffs though, it's Wade. Boston wins this series but I think they have a few let down games but ultimately get it done. Boston wins this series in 6.